I write to imagine things differently and in imagining things differently perhaps the world will change. I write to honor beauty. I write to correspond with my friends. I write as a daily act of improvisation.
Ah, but there ARE people who look like that, still. I really do think so. I know some of them. I've met them, and they don't need the retouching. It's rarely the models that I wanted to be when I was younger anyhow. It was the gorgeous people I knew, and the celebrities on the screen who may have been wearing makeup, but had all the bones.
That wouldn't have swayed me as a kid, because I knew all of that was "magic." Making all my friends as short and round and rosy-faced as me might have helped, though:).
My worst comparisons happen from feet away, not on the page. From women that have dated men after I did, from women that men left me for, from women who were more successful than I. I still haven't wrapped my mind around letting go of those comparisons. So what can we do for people like me?
It's *real* beauty that I can't seem to stop comparing myself to.
If only we all grasped the concept of "real" beauty.
I don't think it matters who you are, our perception of ourselves is always somewhat distorted. By no means do I have the perfect face or legs or ass or anything else that is considered "perfect" but I adore myself, both inside and out.
Like Meg I know some women who do fit that mold, the 5'10 leggy blonds and they suffer from the same insecurities pushed upon women by society as those of us who are 5'0 and 135 lbs.
Kstorm, glad you are sharing it. I think everyone needs to see it -- girls, women, men, boys. (I too wished they had a comparison at the end.)
Meg, I'm sorry you're blue today. Sure, there are some truly knockout people in the world, but you know what? Even THEY get zits sometimes. And the flu. And have their hearts broken.
I have also seen cover models -- when I used to work in San Fran I met a woman who was on the cover of Vogue that month. I wouldn't have guessed it until someone told me. I saw her a few more times. Though startlingly gorgeous in the magazines, she looked pretty ordinary in real life.
That said, I do know the pain of feeling like you don't measure up. It's hard. I'm no authority on handling it, but the wise words of "Desiderata" come to mind:
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
I sent this on to my stepdaughter, who is convinced that she wants to be a model. I'm hoping that it's just a phase and it's distressing when she puts so much emphasis on her looks. Completely by-passing the things that do make her beautiful.
I've tried to explain this concept to my teenage daughters--to the extent that I even understand it--and it's useless. It's something they will or will not figure out on their own. Our society keeps making the trip more and more painful. It's yet another legacy of the most barbaric century in human history (the one we grew up in).
I have to say I thought this woman was quite attractive before they got started. And almost implausible when they were finished.~,:^)
Maggie, glad you sent it on. The pressure on girls these days is so intense, anything that will present a different "reality" will help.
Rick, it's NOT useless. They may not get the message now, but it may eventually sink in. And it's so, SO important for fathers of girls to make the effort. Keep at it.
9 Comments:
That is amazing. I am going to send it on to my friend's teenage girls.
I wish they had a side by side comparison at the end as well.
But hopefully it will make them think a little and realize that no one looks like the women in comercials or on magazine covers.
Ah, but there ARE people who look like that, still. I really do think so. I know some of them. I've met them, and they don't need the retouching. It's rarely the models that I wanted to be when I was younger anyhow. It was the gorgeous people I knew, and the celebrities on the screen who may have been wearing makeup, but had all the bones.
That wouldn't have swayed me as a kid, because I knew all of that was "magic." Making all my friends as short and round and rosy-faced as me might have helped, though:).
My worst comparisons happen from feet away, not on the page. From women that have dated men after I did, from women that men left me for, from women who were more successful than I. I still haven't wrapped my mind around letting go of those comparisons. So what can we do for people like me?
It's *real* beauty that I can't seem to stop comparing myself to.
I passed this one to almost everyone I know.
If only we all grasped the concept of "real" beauty.
I don't think it matters who you are, our perception of ourselves is always somewhat distorted. By no means do I have the perfect face or legs or ass or anything else that is considered "perfect" but I adore myself, both inside and out.
Like Meg I know some women who do fit that mold, the 5'10 leggy blonds and they suffer from the same insecurities pushed upon women by society as those of us who are 5'0 and 135 lbs.
I'll stick with what God gave me. ;)
Here's the higher-quality (Quicktime) version from at the creators' website:
clicky.
http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/commercials/3421/
Kstorm, glad you are sharing it. I think everyone needs to see it -- girls, women, men, boys. (I too wished they had a comparison at the end.)
Meg, I'm sorry you're blue today. Sure, there are some truly knockout people in the world, but you know what? Even THEY get zits sometimes. And the flu. And have their hearts broken.
I have also seen cover models -- when I used to work in San Fran I met a woman who was on the cover of Vogue that month. I wouldn't have guessed it until someone told me. I saw her a few more times. Though startlingly gorgeous in the magazines, she looked pretty ordinary in real life.
That said, I do know the pain of feeling like you don't measure up. It's hard. I'm no authority on handling it, but the wise words of "Desiderata" come to mind:
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Neva, thanks for passing it on.
Rachel, what's your secret for self-love?
Mike, thanks for the link.
I sent this on to my stepdaughter, who is convinced that she wants to be a model. I'm hoping that it's just a phase and it's distressing when she puts so much emphasis on her looks. Completely by-passing the things that do make her beautiful.
I've tried to explain this concept to my teenage daughters--to the extent that I even understand it--and it's useless. It's something they will or will not figure out on their own. Our society keeps making the trip more and more painful. It's yet another legacy of the most barbaric century in human history (the one we grew up in).
I have to say I thought this woman was quite attractive before they got started. And almost implausible when they were finished.~,:^)
Maggie, glad you sent it on. The pressure on girls these days is so intense, anything that will present a different "reality" will help.
Rick, it's NOT useless. They may not get the message now, but it may eventually sink in. And it's so, SO important for fathers of girls to make the effort. Keep at it.
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