- You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
- You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and ranch dressing.
- You can write a check at McDonalds.
- You think the start of elk season is a national holiday.
- You have 10 favorite recipes for elk meat.
- At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
- You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears don't.
- You tell North Dakota jokes.
- You design your kids' Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Your grandparents drive 65 mph through a blizzard without flinching.
- Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
- You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six pages for local sports.
- The major county fund-raiser isn't bingo -- it's sausage making.
- You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Sorels.
- The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
- You often switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
- Maps and gloves are kept in your vehicle's "jockey box."
- You pronounce the H in "vehicle."
- You leave your keys in your "outfit."
- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
- "Vacation" means going to Billings for the weekend.
- You measure distance in hours.
- You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
- You know more than one person who has been mauled by a grizzly bear.
- The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
- You use a down comforter in the summer.
- You see people wearing hunting clothes to social events.
- You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both doors unlocked.
- You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
- There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at the food store at any given time.
- It takes you three hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush, because you have to stop and talk to everyone.
- You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Montana friends.
4 Comments:
I can relate to every single one of them.
*sigh*
I've lived in this state too long.
I love it! Great list. What's your favorite elk recipe?
Don't forget:
*You measure distance in hours
*You know what red beer and whiskey ditch are
Am I the only one that doesn't know the 'jockey box' one? I've never used/heard that one much.
oh this made me miss MT
You're kiddin' me. You mean people aren't like this everywhere else?
Thanks for a good laugh.
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