Patia Stephens :: Missoula, Montana

And they call Kerry a flip-flopper

"The most important thing is for us to find Osama Bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." - George W. Bush, Sept. 13, 2001

"I don't know where he is. I have no idea, and I really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." - George W. Bush, March 13, 2002

Happy Halloween, indeed

I have a cold. Waaah.

Untitled

Woke up late this morning, and then only because of the ringing phone. Whoever it was didn't even leave a message, so my dreams were interrupted for nothing. It's a hazy gray day with blustering rain. My top front teeth hurt; I picture them as boats in a strong wind, pulling on their moorings. I have a hint of a sore throat and swollen glands, so I'm obviously fighting off something. A long, long list of things to do beckons like a Jewish mother.

Somewhere in the mountains, a bearded mass murderer sends his taunts out across the world. We, so easily distracted, swing around like an angry bull snorting at a red cape.

Braces etiquette according to Miss Manners

I've been doing some reading on braces, and this wisdom from Miss Manners cracked me up:

"The chief problem, then, is transferring the food from the plate to the digestive tract. When one has braces, it tends to make a stopover on the front teeth.

Any cleaning up that can be done by the tongue with the mouth closed is legitimate. A quick scrape with the thumbnail in the mouth isn't legitimate, but if Miss Manners doesn't see you do it (the napkin goes up to the mouth with four fingers visibly holding it, so that it appears the lips are merely being wiped), it doesn't count against you. Serious picking with tools must be conducted away from the table. This is a nuisance, but it does give one the pleasure of having a second helping when everybody else's meal is over."

Gross!

Do you feel safer yet?

Household survey estimates 100,000 Iraqi deaths (AP)

Many of them women and children. Think about it. Imagine, for a second -- your wife, your child, your mother. All of these people -- loved by someone. A different language, a different skin color, perhaps, but once just as human and alive and feeling as you and me. No more.

Also, 1,106 U.S. soldiers dead. American men and women who could be home with their families, going to school, working, loving. No more.

No more.

Why doesn't this surprise me?

Dems, GOP: Who's Got the Brains? (Wired News)

From the article: "When voters were shown a Bush ad that included images of the Sept. 11 attacks, the amygdala region of the brain -- which lights up for most of us when we see snakes -- illuminated more for Democrats than Republicans. The researchers' conclusion: At a subconscious level, Republicans were apparently not as bothered by what Democrats found alarming."

Living and working smarter

I thought I'd share a link to David Allen's e-newsletter for anyone who's interested in productivity and self-improvement. You can subscribe here. The newsletter seems to come about once a month, and I always find some useful tidbit. Today I had an "ah-ha" moment while reading this "Productivity Principle":

Irritation is a message. We experience irritation when something is not quite right -- something needs soothing or scratching. But if you don't immediately soothe or scratch it, and the irritation continues, you may not be paying attention to something and your productivity is diminished. Irritating people are usually irritating to the degree you're not clear what you want or what you're doing. If you're highly focused on where you're going and your priorities, you'll know how to deal with things that are not in alignment with you and will act accordingly. If you stick around irritation, look to see if you want something you're afraid of losing if you confront or bypass it, or whether it's just a reminder that you're irritated with yourself for not being more focused.

Mousecapades: Something. Must. Be done.

When I got up this morning, Tango was sitting quietly in the bathroom, which meant he was stalking a mouse. Once I started making noise, though, he went back to bed. Then, while I was drinking coffee and checking e-mail, the mouse ran out from behind the stove. I resisted the urge to shriek and jump on a chair, and instead called my bodyguard. "Tango. Tango, come protect me." He ignored me, but chose to stay inside today, so I'm pretty sure I'll find mouse parts when I get home tonight.

The mice seem louder and bolder this year. Normally, I rarely see them, only hear them in the attic -- a compromise I am willing to make. However, once they start invading my space, it's time to take action. The question is, what? I hate emptying mousetraps. Poison's out, because of Tango. Those sticky mousetraps seem so cruel. What to do, what to do?

Mousecapades: Signs of winter

Last night, the mice held a track meet in my attic. At least, that's what it sounded like.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

I am so easily distracted.

I should be doing homework. I should be writing. I should be reading. I should be out getting some exercise. I really should be doing homework.

The problem is, everything interests me. The presidential election -- how I wish I had the time to donate to getting out the vote. I can spend hours reading and pontificating about politics. Lectures and events -- working on a university campus, there is always something cool going on. I could go to a different event every day, if I let myself. Food and friends -- a friend took me to Applebee's Friday night, and I discovered that eating my favorite Oriental chicken salad now takes about an hour. That's not including conversation or dessert. Movies -- I joined Netflix recently, and subsequently spent most of yesterday afternoon watching and analyzing "Satin Rouge," a great film about belly dancing and womanhood in Tunisia, with another friend. It was fun and enlightening, just not very productive. E-mail -- I love the back-and-forth of e-mail conversations, but it takes up hours a week. The Web -- probably my worst distraction. I should give it up, I know, but I love it so much. Do they have 12-step groups for Web addiction? "Hello, my name is Patia and I'm a webaholic."

Sleep -- I almost forgot sleep. Is there anything more wonderful in the whole world than sleep? Wait, don't answer that question.

I know I'm not the only one with too many interests, too much to do, and not enough time. How do you cope? How do you find the discipline to get things done? How do you focus?

Inspirational Quote of the Week

"If you've got a creative project you'd like to begin, I urge you to learn to say no to as many of the social and cultural and consumer distractions as you possibly can, so that you can begin to build up the steam to you need to move forward with it."

~Elaine St. James

First snow. Oh boy.

My landlords' grandson woke me up this morning by relentlessly knocking on my door, because he wanted to tell me it had snowed overnight. Boy, was I grumpy.

Unlike some people, snow doesn't excite me very much any more. I think I got over it after about my third winter in Montana. I might actually be able to enjoy snow if it went away after a month. But October through April or May or sometimes even June? That's a bit much. However, one good thing about Montana's long winters is that they help keep the riff-raff out. California may have gorgeous weather, but it also has WAY too many people. :-#

Please note the preceding smiley is a "braces smiley." I will be using it for the next two years.

Things You Have To Believe To Vote Republican In 2004

(via email)

1. Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

10. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

11. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

12. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

13. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

14. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

15. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative talk-show host, in which case it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

16. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states which local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

17. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Quick braces update

After sleeping most of Friday afternoon and Saturday, I finally woke up relatively pain-free Sunday. What a wonder it is to be without pain after 11 days! I still find the braces uncomfortable, but I feel so much better now that the ache is gone and the flesh is adapting.

Had a very interesting challenge last night trying to eat roast beef at a dinner table full of VIPs. Yikes!

On another subject -- Montana is so beautiful right now. I took a short road trip yesterday and it sure was nice to get out of town. There are people who might burn me at the stake for saying this, but sometimes, living in Missoula, you forget you're in Montana.

Bumperstickers I saw today

"MEAN PEOPLE are in the White House"

***

"Republicans for Voldemort"

Ha haha haha ahahahahahahahah!

Bush Says He's Best Protection From Draft (Yahoo! News)

Gratitude

Today I am grateful for: The rain.

Big, cranky baby

Today is Day 10 after getting my braces on, and although my orthodontist and doctor insist I shouldn't be, I am still in pain. There is a steady, squeezing ache in my gums that makes it difficult to think about anything else. I'm not even including the fish-on-a-hook sensation where metal has dug a hole in the flesh of my inner cheek; or the constant annoyance of feeling like I have a mouthful of nails (28, to be exact); or that I have developed a lisp; or that my back teeth no longer meet, making it next to impossible to chew solid food; or that about half of what food I do eat ends up stuck in my braces; or that it now takes approximately 40 minutes to floss my teeth. No, it is the aching gums -- like the pinch of knotted muscles, like the painful roar of a headache -- that are getting me down.

I keep forgetting I chose to do this to myself, that I am not a victim. Fortunately, I am developing some coping strategies -- sleep is a good one, and I have stopped worrying about how much Aleve and ibuprofen I'm taking, and yesterday I discovered teething rings. Yes, baby teething rings -- soft, squishy rubber things that can be chilled in the fridge. It's embarrassing, but they really help! It's like a massage for the gums. Ahhhh.

I also discovered something that may help explain why I am still in pain when my doctors insist I shouldn't be. I have a book on my shelf called "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine N. Aron; yesterday I read this in it:

"My research has found that HSPs usually experience more pain. ... It is also essential that you communicate about your extra sensitivity to pain to those who can help. If they are well informed on the topic, they will take your reaction as a normal variation in human physiology and treat it appropriately."

The author explains that HSPs aren't any better or worse than anyone else -- it's just a wiring difference, probably evolutionary. When I first read the book a few years ago, I really identified with a lot of stuff in it, especially sensitivity to noise.

All I can say is, two years from now I had better have a GORGEOUS smile!

Send a Griz Greetings virtual postcard today!

I'm proud to introduce the new University of Montana Griz Greetings postcard gallery. I was part of the team of talented designers, programmers and photographers that built this site.

Anyone can send a virtual postcard to anyone else, choosing from dozens of photos of UM, Missoula and Montana landscapes, wildlife and more. It's free and easy -- check it out (and tell me what you think)!

A Message in the Public Interest

To show our solidarity as Americans, let's all get together and show each other our support for the candidate of our choice. It's time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans alike.

If you support the policies and character of John Kerry, please drive with your headlights 'ON' during the day.

If you support George W. Bush, please drive with your headlights 'OFF' at night.

Thank you!

General announcement

My teef hurt.

Note to self

Until you are getting your writing done, until your homework is caught up, until you no longer are behind on email, letters and phone calls, until you are getting enough exercise, until your life feels at least somewhat balanced -- say NO! Even if it sounds like fun, say NO! Unless you will always regret it, SAY NO!!!

Goodbye, Superman

Real-Life Fighter Christopher Reeve Dies (Yahoo News)

I fell in love today

He was tall, strong, handsome, intelligent, kind, playful -- everything I want in a guy. He nuzzled my neck, laid his chin on my shoulder, dribbled a mouthful of water down my sleeve. He let me rub his ears and kiss his nose. Our precious moments together were sweetened by the knowledge that it couldn't last. I had to walk away, tears my only companion.

It never fails

The best way to guarantee the presence of attractive men at my door is to go all day without showering, dressing properly, combing my hair or putting on makeup. Ninety-nine out of 100 days, I get up, shower and make myself presentable. No men in sight. The one day I decide to spend sleeping and loafing in my jammies is the day the UPS guy shows up, the casual acquaintance just happens to be "in the neighborhood," or the neighbor's handsome relative pays a visit. Tonight it was game wardens -- two of 'em! and me with Medusa hair -- checking on mysterious gunshots in the hills.

However, between sleeping most of the day, dosing myself with Ibuprofen and Ativan, and watching "Rivers and Tides," the documentary about artist Andy Goldsworthy (fabulous!), I didn't hear or see a thing.

I am starting to think I may survive braces, although I still feel like I could rip my teeth out barehanded. The 12-step phrase "One day at a time" has been coming to mind a lot lately, because when I think about having to do this for the next two years, I want to run screaming into the night. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time.

How I feel today

Before and after

I'm really tired so this will be short. I got my braces on today. Here's a shot taken this morning and another taken afterwards. It doesn't hurt too much, but feels very uncomfortable and strange.

Crying wolf

This infuriates me: Rape report by student a fabrication (Missoulian)

This is the second false rape report at UM in the last year. Activists have worked so long and so hard to get police to believe rape victims, and then attention-seekers like this come along and wreck it for everyone.

Tell the truth about rape!

There is no goodbye, only love

My Great-Auntie Nan's memorial service was today in Portland, and although I wasn't able to be there, I sent the following to be read for me. Nan was a talented artist, and the picture shows her with her piece "Diversity's Children."

I have known my Great-Auntie Nan all my life, and yet I only really got to know her after my Nana, Nan's sister Hypatia, died in 2001. I discovered that Nan was a warm, kind and funny person -- someone that I truly enjoyed spending time with. Nan liked to remind me that she was my GREAT Auntie, and I truly believe she was indeed a great person. I loved her openness and insight, and respected her committment to personal growth. Nan gave me a very special gift: the ability to see myself as a good person. I liked who I was around her. I am deeply honored to have been able to spend her final days with her.

I have a tradition that I would like to invite all of you to join me in. When someone I love dies, I choose a ritual or habit of theirs to carry on. Nan made a daily practice of expressing her gratitude, and this is what I choose to continue: I will express my gratitude for at least one thing every day. Today I am grateful for the gift of Nan's life, the experience of her death and the friendship of her daughter, Kat.

Well, darn

I slept through three of the Montana Festival of the Book sessions I wanted to go to -- one Friday morning, one Saturday morning, and the big reading tonight. Bummer. Oh, well, I guess I needed sleep more. I did make it to two sessions, though, one of which was a lovely reading of the late, great James Welch's poetry.

Goodbye, face

More than four years after I first went to an orthodontist and was told I needed not only braces but jaw surgery, and a year after I canceled my first braces appointment due to financial fears, I will be getting my braces on on Wednesday.

I'm 36 and have wanted straight teeth since I was a kid. I remember our family dentist telling me I should use my tongue to try to push my two front teeth out to where they should be. This seemed way too hard.

I've also felt like I had a weird (on good days), ugly (on bad days) chin since I was a teenager. I loathe my profile. Once I got over the initial shock of the cost of braces and the need for jaw surgery, and had five orthodontists all tell me the same thing, I decided to go for it.

Long story short, the day is almost here for this whole process to start. I'm excited and nervous, hoping it's all going to be worth it. It's strange to think that my face will never again be the same after Wednesday.

My friend Susan, a veteran of adult braces, is coming down to give me moral support. We're going out for steak and red wine and popcorn the night before. A last hurrah.

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