Patia Stephens, Missoula, Montana

A Drivel Runs Through It

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Q & A: Interview meme
Interview* questions from Courtney at The Daily Cat Chase:


1. If you were to recommend one book to anyone, what would it be and why?

There are so many amazing books out there, but to me, one of the most transformational is a very small publication called the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."

I was first introduced to it in a textbook, "The Evolution of International Human Rights" by Paul Lauren, one of my professors. The copy I read most often now is a small blue pamphlet that I bought at the United Nations in NYC. It's also available online.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights was adopted by the United Nations in 1948, just after the horrors of World War II. Eleanor Roosevelt chaired the commission that drafted the document.

Its preamble begins:

"Whereas recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world ...."

I believe that individual understanding and institutional adoption of the Declaration of Human Rights could change the world.


The look2. What is the craziest thing you've done that people who know you would say is out of character? And would you do it again?

I'm having a hard time coming up with an answer to this. I'll update it if I think of something, but for now I'll just say that few things are completely out of character for me. I have a very eclectic character. I love learning and trying new things.


3. I'm a bumper sticker junkie and love it when you post ones that you've seen. What is the single best and/or funniest bumper sticker, and would you put (or do you have) it on your car?

I think one of the funniest is: "I have a perfect body. It's in the trunk."

I don't have any bumper stickers on my car now -- I don't want to disrupt its sleek, black stealthiness -- but I do have an iridescent, metallic peace sign sticker that I've been contemplating putting on the rear window for a while now. The pro-war mentality of recent years has made me a little nervous about doing this.

There's also a transparent United Nations flag on my windshield behind the rearview mirror, but it can only be seen from inside the car.

In the past, my cars have had a few bumper stickers, including: "Keep Your Laws Off My Body" and "Wild Women Don't Get the Blues."


4. In an October 2004 post, you mentioned having, "too many interests, too much to do, and not enough time." Have you found the discipline and focus, and if so, what's the secret? Really, any suggestions would be great! ;)

My latest creative urge is to go buy some yarn and crochet myself a matching hat, neck warmer and wrist warmers. I haven't crocheted since I was a teenager, and there are about a million other things I need and want to accomplish with limited time and energy, so I am trying to resist this urge. Finding discipline and focus is definitely an ongoing battle for me.

I think the secret, though, is knowing your values, setting goals and priorities that are aligned with those values, taking baby steps and cultivating the word "no."


5. If an employer (probably a purely fictional one) said to you, "take a month off of work and take a vacation anywhere in the world. We'll pay for the trip, your responsibilities here in MT, and oh, by the way, here's five grand in spending money," where would you go, what sites would you visit and what would you shop for? (I did read #46 of your 100 Things About Me post, but could you be more specific?)

This one is hard. There are so many places I would love to go. I'm also tempted to say I'd just like to hole up in a beach house on the Oregon coast and spend the whole month writing.

But if I really had this fabulous opportunity, I would take a river cruise down the Nile. I'd love to learn about the ancient culture and history of Egypt.

"From the impressive temple complex of Karnak to the Temple of Hatshepsut and the fabled Valley of the Kings ... the cosmopolitan city of Cairo ... the legendary Sphinx and magnificent Pyramids of Giza." ~ Splendors of Egypt cruise itinerary

With two weeks remaining, I'd visit some Mediterranean islands, like Crete and Malta, where I'd tour the ancient temples. If I still had time, I'd go to Greece and Italy, especially Athens and Rome. I would love to see the Acropolis, the Colosseum and the Sistine ceiling.

What would I shop for? Art, textiles and trinkets to decorate my home and remind me of this amazing journey.


(Sigh.) That was a fun little diversion. Thanks, Courtney!


*Interview rules:
  1. If you would like to participate, leave me a comment saying "Interview me."
  2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
  3. Update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.
  4. Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
  5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you ask them five questions.



Goodbye, little guy









Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Skulls

Another scan ....



Sunday, September 23, 2007

Early warning system
So it seems one side effect of my jaw surgery is that I now have an early warning system when I'm getting sick. My jaw has been aching for the past few days, and I woke up this morning clogged up and fuzzy. This has happened before -- it's almost like the cold settles into my jaw first. Because it's still healing? I don't know.

Grrreat.


Tearjerker



Little sweetie. His courage inspires me.

Blessings to you, Barry.


Saturday, September 22, 2007

An oldie ...

I recently had a few dozen of my old slides scanned by a company called DigMyPics. They did a good job; I need to send them more.

This is the Hotel Meade in Bannack, Montana's coolest ghost town. When I arrived (this was seven or eight years ago), it was late in the day and there was a magic light coming in from the west -- what is known as the Golden Hour. It lit up everything in an ethereal glow.

This gorgeous old hotel was a photographer's dream. I want to go back.


Bumpersticker du jour




After No Fear is
OH SHIT





Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Case of the Disappearing Comments
Does anyone know why my comments would be disappearing on WordPress blogs?

Comments I've recently tried to leave for Martha, Not Martha and Nancy have simply vanished when I hit the submit button.


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

TBTB
Too Busy To Blog.

~

I need a new Avon lady.

Any locals who want to fuel my nail polish addiction? Someone who could supply me with the occasional catalog would be great.

~

I'm resisting the urge to light my pilot light. (Well, not mine, exactly -- the heater's!)

It's friggin' cold in here. But I know if I light the pilot light -- a slow process that involves lots of matches, contortions and patience -- Montana's weather will get hot again.

It was hot a few days ago. It could easily get hot again.


Monday, September 17, 2007

Dusk on the river



Sunday, September 16, 2007

The big debate continues
On several of the body blogs I read, the heated debate continues on whether fat acceptance and trying to lose weight are mutually exclusive.

It sort of reminds me of the old argument about whether one can be a feminist if one wears lipstick and high heels. Stupid!

Here's part of a comment I left on the blog She Dances in the Sand:

I've been in or on the fringes of the fat acceptance movement for 15 years. I've read all the books. I didn't weigh or diet for more than 10 years. The result? A body that is teetering on the precipice of disaster.

So excuse me if I choose to look beyond fat acceptance for some answers. I have not turned my back on fat and body acceptance, but lately it feels as if it has turned its back on me. I can't be in your clique anymore? Bullshit. It's not your clique, it's everyone's.

I can refuse to loathe my body, even as I seek ways to make it smaller and healthier.

I can believe I deserve respect and love, even as I work to improve myself.

I can encourage others to love and accept their natural curves, even as I support their efforts to be their best.

I can reject society's narrow and superficial standards, even as I decorate my body like an artist's canvas.

"I am large; I contain multitudes." ~Walt Whitman



So much to do, so little energy
I was up at 5 a.m. yesterday and on campus at 6:30 a.m. to set up for HeartWalk. I usually pitch in on our events with a minimum of grumbling, but I have to say HeartWalk is my least favorite. Something about getting up before dawn on a Saturday to go be with a bunch of perky people just, well, makes me grumpy.

Although flirting with the Life Flight helicopter pilots who landed on the Oval did improve my attitude. Those guys are SO hot.

I made it to the 9:30 a.m. memoir session at the Festival of the Book, went to another session on using reporting techniques in creative writing, then met Rebecca from Sporky.net for lunch. Turns out we'd met before, years ago, in line for "Fahrenheit 9/11" at The Wilma. I remembered her from her very distinctive laugh. She's also smart and funny and a good writer.

Then I went home, closed my eyes for a wee nap, and slept through my alarm and the gala evening reading with Ron Carlson, Deidre McNamer and James Lee Burke.

Damn.

Damn, damn, damn.


Bumpersticker du jour




IMPEACHMENT
Is Patriotic





Thursday, September 13, 2007

Montana Festival of the Book kicks off


2007 poster by Joanna YardleyFrom the Montana Festival of the Book Web site:
The 2007 Montana Festival of the Book -- September 13-15 in Missoula -- will feature scores of the region's writers in a variety of readings, panels, exhibits, demonstrations, signings, workshops, entertainments, receptions, and other events.

As in years past, the Montana Festival of the Book will feature some of the most important voices of the West, including award-winning authors James Lee Burke, William Kittredge, Deirdre McNamer, Ron Carlson, Larry Watson, Mary Clearman Blew, Pete Fromm, Aryn Kyle, Christy Leskovar, Kat Martin, Guy Vanderhaeghe, Kevin Canty, Alyson Hagy, and many others.

The site has a PDF schedule available for download.


River zen



Wednesday, September 12, 2007

My boobs, by the numbers
Size: 42*
Age of first mammogram: 39.5
"Areas of concern": 1
Age of maternal grandmother's death from breast cancer: 40
Odds women will develop breast cancer: 1 in 8
Mammograms: 2
Ultrasounds: 2
Close calls with biopsy knife: 1
Months to wait until next mammogram: 6
Bills: 6
Insurance EOBs (Explanations of Benefits): 7
Phone calls to clarify bills and EOBs: 4
Dollars owed: 605


*Cup size is a letter, not a number.


Tuesday, September 11, 2007

World Trade Center memorial

Photographed at Ground Zero in summer 2004.



I have not forgotten
What is left to say about Sept. 11?

In thinking about how, or whether, to commemorate that horrible day, I can't come up with anything that hasn't already been said.

Instead I will just ask two questions:
  1. What have we learned?
  2. What have we accomplished?



Jonathan Coulton - Baby Got Back (live)



Sunday, September 09, 2007

Branching out: Home decor, Martha, MySpace and my space
Well, after spending the past few months flailing about trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life, I have finally found a hot new career opportunity. According to this Daily Dose blog post from the hip decor magazine Domino, white logs and sticks are the next big thing. So I'm going to start a home business painting and selling pieces of wood.

Yes, I'm going to get rich making "genius" and "chic" faux logs for city dwellers. According to the blog post: "The set is $575, or you can buy them separately logs: $175 each and sticks $75."

Think of the profit margin! Living in Montana, I can buy a whole truckload of logs for a hundred bucks. And I can gather sticks from around my house for free! A few cans of white spray paint and I'll be in business.

Place your orders now.

~

The new season of the Martha Stewart Show starts tomorrow -- with special guest Usher! -- and sadly, I'll be at work. Missing Martha is almost enough to make me want to move to a condo with cable and a Tivo.

~

The good news is that Martha is now blogging on MySpace!!! OMG, how exciting is that? Better yet, Martha and I are now MySpace and Facebook friends!!!

OMGWTFBBQ!!!

~

Yes, after finally drinking the Facebook and MySpace poison, I'm finding it quite tasty.

I'd had accounts on both for a while, but preferred to spend my time in more "grown-up" social networking communities like Flickr, Tribe and Zaadz. Now, though, I'm quickly becoming a Facebook addict. (Especially since I just discovered the Pacman app.) Facebook has a classier vibe than MySpace. If they were parties, Facebook would be a friendly potluck, while MySpace would be a big, wild kegger.

~

I'm getting ready to embark on a big site redesign.

If you could change one thing about this site, what would it be?


Friday, September 07, 2007

Missoula sunflowers



Thursday, September 06, 2007

Big debate: Fat acceptance vs. weight loss
I just posted this comment over at The Rotund, where a hot debate is taking place on whether it's possible to be pro-fat acceptance while also wanting to lose weight:

Hmm. Interesting. I've been thinking about this stuff for a while, and it's good to see it being discussed.

Here's how I reconcile the ideas of Health At Every Size and trying to lose weight (which may or may not include exercise and dieting -- for me, it actually includes trying to eat MORE throughout the day, rather than starving all day and overeating at night):

I believe people naturally come in all shapes and sizes. One person may feel happy and healthy at a particular weight, while another -- even of a similar height and frame -- may not.

I believe people become fat for a variety of reasons. Some are genetically meant to be fat; others become fat through things like eating disorders, disease, poor nutrition, lack of exercise, stress or toxins. For many, myself included, it's a combination of things.

I believe there have always been fat people, but I also believe there are a higher percentage of fat people now than in the past.

See, like Hanne, I've been through the ranks of the fat acceptance movement. I've read all the books, fought the battles, and know in my heart that fat people deserve just as much respect, dignity, civil rights and love as anyone else.

But, I've also reached a weight, and perhaps age, where my fat has begun to affect my health and my comfort. I don't believe my body is designed to accommodate as much fat as it does right now. I think my body is meant to have big thighs and a big ass, but probably not such a big belly. I don't know what I am supposed to weigh, but I suspect it is somewhere between the 145 pounds on the weight charts, and the 290 I'm pushing now.

I think I am fat for a combination of reasons, including genetics, early dieting, starvation and rebound binging, depression, stress, busyness and laziness.

So, for me, the struggle is to keep loving and approving of myself even as I try to change myself. I use the tools of fat acceptance -- awareness, politics, science, human rights -- while I attempt to navigate the very murky waters of weight loss.

Our bodies contain multitudes. We each have to find our own truths. What is right for me is not necessarily what is right for you. Let's agree to disagree, to recognize the many complexities and gray areas in occupying a human body in the 21st century, and to support each other in finding our own paths.

Nancy Cawdrey Studio



Nancy Cawdrey is a Bigfork artist of national renown whom I know from my boarding-school days. I recently got to visit her studio, and was inspired by all the vivid colors and patterns at play.

Colours



Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Shaking paws with the First Dog
I forgot to mention, the highlight of going to see John Edwards yesterday was getting to shake hands with Gov. Brian Schweitzer's dog, Jag. He was so sweet.

Oh, I also shook hands with Montana's First Lady, Nancy Schweitzer. She seemed very nice.

Don't you think the First Dog deserves a web page of his own on the mt.gov site? I think I'll send a comment.


Politics, journalism and assorted ponderings
I went and saw Sen. John Edwards today as he gave a stump speech at UM. I'll let New West tell you all about it; they did a much better job than I care to attempt: "2nd Presidential Hopeful In Montana: John Edwards Sweeps Into Missoula."

I'm glad I decided early on to hold up the wall. The room (half the UC Ballroom) was packed with people, overheating and impatient from waiting. But it was a friendly crowd, and Edwards gave a mercifully short speech.

My favorite line of his was this: "We don't need a surge in Iraq; we need a surge in New Orleans."

Ain't that the truth.

Also overheard:

  • "I just don't think Obama has a chance, with the stigma of his name." (Stigma?)
  • "[Edwards] seems to have lost that schmarmy thing."

~

I like Edwards. I like his wife, Elizabeth, even better. (I got to see her speak at BlogHer in late July.)

I'm still undecided, though, about who I want to see on the 2008 ticket. I haven't gotten real excited about the election yet, although I recognize that it's a crucial one (then again, aren't they all?) and I will probably get involved as it draws nearer.

At the moment, I'm most drawn to Barack Obama for his idealism and integrity. I'm not wild about Hilary Clinton (particularly her support of the Iraq War), but I do admire her and would love to see a woman president. I could get very excited about Al Gore, and I think a dream ticket would be him and either Obama, Clinton or John Kerry.

~

Am I the only one who finds the timing of Bush's announcement yesterday of a possible troop reduction extremely suspicious? Almost exactly two months before the election? I don't know, it's not a big national election, so maybe I'm just paranoid.

~

Another thing I found myself wondering today: Would we Americans be less interested in celebrity gossip and more interested in important issues like war if the media wrote stories about individuals affected by those issues?

I mean, sometimes I am so disgusted by the prevalence of news about Brad and Angelina and whatever latest stars are engaged, separated, pregnant or busted. But I confess I don't follow hard news the way I feel I should. Too often, it's dry and dreary, full of overwhelming statistics that I feel powerless to do anything about. Would I find it more compelling to read about one soldier or one victim and his or her particular struggles? Especially if these people became regular subjects of news stories, so that we could follow their lives (like celebrities!)? I think I would.

Is anyone doing journalism like this?

~

With the return of my Internet access at home comes the urge to share every thought and experience. I'm going to have to exercise discipline. So many other things require my attention and energy right now, especially the job hunt. Focus, focus.

Oh, how I dream of being able to spend the bulk of my time doing exactly what I love -- writing, like this, about things that matter to me.


Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Video: My First Autocross





Sunday, September 02, 2007

Speed thrills: My novice car-racing experience
After a couple years of car talk with Ken, a fellow Subaru addict who works in my building, I attended an "Intro to Autocross Racing" class he taught this morning. The class, hosted by the Sports Car Club of America, took place in the Karl Tyler Chevrolet parking lot. I showed up expecting to sit in a classroom for three hours (duh), but discovered this was far more hands-on. Or, in this case, white-knuckles-on.

I've always had a moderate interest in cars and driving -- more than most girls, anyway. As a little kid, I played with both dolls and Matchbox cars, and my dad taught me to thrill to the sound of a Porsche engine. My current car, a '98 Subaru Impreza, is pretty sporty. I have a reputation as a leadfoot -- although I like to think my love of speed is balanced by a cautious nature and respect for human and critter life. I slow WAY down at night and in poor conditions, and I usually keep it prudent enough to avoid speeding tickets.

Autocross novice

Anyway, I went this morning hoping to learn a little and have some fun. Boy, did I. After orientation, tech check (safety inspection) and walking the course, I got behind the wheel for some practice runs around orange traffic cones. I was a total wimp. Ha -- I can admit that now. I put-putted around the course, afraid to push my car beyond (what I thought were) its limits.

Then Ken got in the driver's seat of my car, while I rode in the passenger seat hanging on for dear life. I totally trusted him -- he used to have a newer and far faster Impreza -- but I was completely blown away. In his hands, my car hurtled around the course faster than I dreamed possible. When we stopped, I was panting.

(Later, I did a ride-along with another SCCA pro in a Corvette. That was extremely impressive.)

Having a better idea of what my car could handle, I got more confidence and speed the rest of the morning. I even managed to get my tires to "talk" to me -- that's what they call squealing (!).

Autocross practice run

After lunch, wiped out from too much information and adrenalin, I opted not to participate in the "Test & Tune" timed heats -- although I did go for one more ride-along with Ken driving my car. I just held on and tried not to scream while he flew around the full course in 51 seconds -- faster than a lot of other drivers were getting in far better cars than mine.

Although there were some really nice cars there, people were very friendly and I got the impression that everyone was competing against themselves rather than each other. That may be different in tomorrow's official race event, I don't know.

I drove away this afternoon feeling a new confidence in my car and driving abilities, as well as a greater responsibility to keep learning and improving my skills.


5 Things I Learned At Autocross School
  1. I don't know nearly as much about driving fast as I thought.
  2. My car is capable of far more than I ever imagined.
  3. Skill is more important than power.
  4. Anything not tied down is a liability.
  5. Look ahead. Look ahead. Look ahead.

Woooooo! I'm back online!
I just got the Treo 700p working as a wireless modem for my iBook. Finally, I'm back online at home.

Turns out it wasn't a software issue, but an access issue. I had signed up and paid for the BroadbandAccess Connect service, but Verizon didn't activate it.

More to come ...


Saturday, September 01, 2007

Flathead Lake (SCC Reunion 2007)



Weekend update: Hi-tech, low-tech and low-rise
I'm at Break Espresso using the Wi-Fi while trying to get my new Treo 700p up and running as a modem for my iBook. It's been complicated. Palm and Verizon neglected to tell me that their software doesn't support Macintosh. (Or maybe I neglected to ask.) I'm tempted to start a new activist movement: "End Mac discrimination now!"

According to various Internet discussion threads and blog posts, it CAN be done. I'm really close, I know I am. They're communicating; it just keeps disconnecting before it authenticates. Yeah ... just what I wanted to spend my weekend doing.

~

Doug, Scott and meI uploaded all the photos from last weekend's Spring Creek Community alumni reunion to a Flickr set, including a bunch of copies I made of old snapshots. (However, I made most of the current photos private to protect the not-so-innocent. I will send a link as soon as I get all the former Creekers' current email addresses.) In the meantime, here's a pic from the 21-day survival course I did in 1984. The two guys next to me are my small-group leader, Doug, and a fellow student named Scott.

Scott and I are wearing our packs slung over our shoulders. These consisted of an Army poncho and wool blanket that served as not only packs, but also sleeping bags and tents. We were allowed one change of clothes, a pocket knife, a magnesium firestarter, a metal canteen -- and that's about it. I got to bring a tiny notebook and pencil. No toothbrushes, no soap, no TP. For three weeks.

We started and ended the trip with three-day fasts; beyond that, we ate flour ashcakes, granola and whatever we could pick or kill. (A lot of huckleberries and frogs, a grouse, a badger ....) Group leaders doled out salt if we asked nicely. Twice, I think, we got ham and M&Ms. We got our water from whatever stream or lake or mud puddle was nearby. It usually had to be boiled. Sometimes it was so murky, I pretended it was Chinese jasmine tea.

Makes you appreciate things.

~

Walking across campus yesterday, I had the familiar, but unsettling thought that I'm getting old. I've always tried to keep an open mind about fashion, but these days I find myself thinking things like: "The only thing tackier than your underwear poking out the back of your low-rise jeans is the tag poking out of your underwear poking out of your low-rise jeans."

~

Back to the modem battle. Enjoy your weekend.


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